1.8K
Downloads
84
Episodes
We watch, talk about, and summarize creature features. Then we make a custom stat block for the title monster in D&D 5e.
Episodes
Friday May 19, 2023
Friday May 19, 2023
We watch and outline the Tai kaiju movie: The Lake. Join us as we puzzle over the decisions made, puzzle over the details of the plot, and puzzle over the absolutely pointless edit of one version to another. Then, stick around as we crunch up a cool-looking yet underwhelming monster: the Empath Creature!
Crunch begins around 1:00:00.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Lake Monsters" by They Might be Giants
Background music: Nope. None.
Monday May 01, 2023
Monday May 01, 2023
Hosted by disc-shaped human: Chris.
Captain America has a really cool shield. Now you can have a really cool shield. There isn't much more to say.
Advice to players: Really cool shield.
Theme music: "Great Lakes Avengers" by Kirby Krackle
Friday Apr 28, 2023
Friday Apr 28, 2023
We watch and outline the source of an American slang: C.H.U.D. (1984). Join us as Matt finally gets a 25-year-old joke, marvel at some of the progressive themes of this movie, and get cheated out of anything resembling a twist and satisfying ending. Then, stick around as we crunch up your newest internet insult: the M.I.S.T.!
Crunch begins around 54:50.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Bud the C.H.U.D." by Nicholas Pike
Background music: C.H.U.D. 1984 Soundtrack by Martin Cooper and David A. Hughes
Friday Apr 07, 2023
Friday Apr 07, 2023
We watch and outline the Jaws of arachnids: Arachnophobia. Join us as we discuss Matt's history of his own arachnophobia, dodge some bogus and wild spider facts, and feel quite a bit of relief at how few spiders were actually harmed in the making of this film (none). Then, stick around as we crunch up the deadliest spider you'll ever face: the spider commander!
Crunch begins around 49:00.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Spiders" by Ashbury Heights
Background music: Arachnophobia Soundtrack by Trevor Jones
Saturday Apr 01, 2023
Saturday Apr 01, 2023
Nope! It's no April Fool's joke: we're finally releasing a new Comics Crunch! Originally released January 1st on our patreon.
Hosted by resident swarm of lizards: Chris.
Today we learn about one of the more prolific of the space dragon genus. He shifts a shape, he drives a space ship, and he commands an army of exactly 72 lizards (we counted)! It's Fin Fang Foom!
Advice to players: In soviet Marvel Comics, smoking an herb makes dragon chase you!
Theme music: "Great Lakes Avengers" by Kirby Krackle
Friday Mar 24, 2023
Friday Mar 24, 2023
We watch and outline the kaiju parody film: Death Kappa. Join us as we bask in the greatness that is the dubbing of this movie, get confused as to who is actually the focus of the movie, and frankly get way too excited about action figures on fire. Then, stick around as we crunch up the originator of sumo: the Fierce Kappa!
Crunch begins around 54:20.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Bad Apple!!" by RichaadEB!
Background music: None this time because I couldn't find any for this movie either.
Friday Mar 03, 2023
Friday Mar 03, 2023
A week late because of problems!
We watch and outline the smash sequel to the blockbuster about a killer dino: Carnosaur 2. Join us as we re-record the episode due to technical difficulties, relive the good times from Aliens via dinosaurs, and uncover the evil plan of Dr. Iguana. Then, stick around as we crunch up yet another dinosaur, but... with a twist?
Crunch begins around 49:50.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Dinosaurs Theme Song"
Background music: None this time because the only track I could find was 2 minutes long and having that on loop for 50 minutes would be more torturous than actually watching the movie.
Friday Feb 10, 2023
Friday Feb 10, 2023
We watch and outline another practical-effects-driven weirdo movie: From Beyond. Join us as we explore the sexcapades of a weird old man and his chest hair, see more of our actors than we ever thought we would, and peek at some otherworldly fish using our pineal glands (and also mispronounce pineal throughout the episode as an added bonus!). Then, stick around as we crunch up a weird goopy worm monster: the Ephemeral Worm.
Crunch begins around 01:10:20.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Freak Like Me" by Night Club
Background music: From Beyond (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Richard Band
Friday Jan 27, 2023
Friday Jan 27, 2023
We're back after nearly a month! We recorded this episode just before the OGL thing exploded, so we don't touch on that topic here. If you want our two cents on the topic, you'll have to wait until the next episode where we delve into it before the movie proper. But for now...
We watch and outline the first Godzilla film I owned as a kid in good old VHS: Godzilla vs. Megalon! Join us as we muddle about in the weird (and contradictory) history of this weirdo movie, discuss some monster designs and child wardrobe decisions, and root for our favorite monster in a no-holds-barred beatdown of a kaiju professional wrestling match. Then, stick around as we crunch up a beetle from a lost city beneath the sea: the Megalantis.
Crunch begins around 01:09:30.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Mr. Roboto" by Styx
Background music: Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973) OST by Riichirô Manabe
Friday Jan 06, 2023
Friday Jan 06, 2023
Due to a series of unfortunate scheduling issues and illnesses, we've been unable to record the new episode and it will have to be delayed until further notice. In the meantime, please enjoy this sampling of what lies beyond the paywall! If you'd like more content like this, please consider supporting us over on our Patreon.