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We watch, talk about, and summarize creature features. Then we make a custom stat block for the title monster in D&D 5e.
Episodes
Friday May 06, 2022
Friday May 06, 2022
Happy Mayllermo del Toro!
To kick things off, we watch and talk about Guillermo del Toro's first movie: Cronos. Join us as we question Ron Perlman's sterilization precautions, wish our protagonist wouldn't lick up blood off the floor, and give some sage advice in regards to mimes dressed as clocks. Then, join us as we explore a new skin on a classic monster: the marbled vampire.
Crunch begins at 55:30
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Perhaps Vampires is a Bit Strong But..." by Arctic Monkeys
Friday Apr 29, 2022
Friday Apr 29, 2022
We watch and talk about the movie made for all the spacey edgelords out there: Pitch Black. Join us as we cringe to the early 00's, discuss the similarities between Riddick and Droopy Dog, and speculate the universe in which Riddick was a space barbarian woman fighting alien ghosts. Then, join us as we take evolution's least favorite mistake and throw it at your players: the Spearhead.
Crunch begins at 57:00
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Pitch-Black" by Project Pitchfork
Friday Apr 15, 2022
Friday Apr 15, 2022
We watch and talk about the greatest musical featuring a giant plant and Rick Moranis ever made, Little Shop of Horrors. Join us as we groove to some catchy songs, discuss currency in the 80's, and Steve Martin all over our Bill Murray. Then, join us as we hand a man-eating plant a gun: the Chlorobastard.
Crunch begins at 54:00
Edit: I'm not a bright man and repeated the same mistake I did two weeks ago. So NOW I've uploaded the proper episode and will endeavor to be better in the future. -Matt
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Venus Flytrap" by Feng Suave
Saturday Apr 02, 2022
Saturday Apr 02, 2022
April Fools.
Here's the real episode
We actually watch and talk about the SEO nightmare that is 2016's The Monster. Join us as we muscle through a second recording of this one because technical difficulties was the April Fools joke on us. We also beg forgiveness for the audio quality issues here as Chris was still very sick and there was a problem with the mic that we didn't notice until editing, and oh gosh this was all so tied into our April Fools joke so we had to do it forgive me father for I have sinned and I must repent. Then, join us as we take this shaved bear and make him a koopa troopa: the Dark Growler.
Trigger warning for mentions of child abuse, mostly psychological.
Crunch begins at 49:00
Edit: So I apparently played an unintentional second April Fool's joke by uploading the Critter Kibbles instead of the main episode so, yeah, I'm basically terrible at this. Here's the super for real really real episode. Kthxbye
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Monster" by The Automatic
Friday Apr 01, 2022
Friday Apr 01, 2022
W̸̼̰͎̋̑́̾̚͠e̷̡̛͙̩͈̺̝̻̲̬͎͗̓̇̔̽͌̏̔̕͠ ̴̨͚͇̩̋̎̓̍w̸̫̫̱̺͖͍̍á̸͈̳̱̒̊t̵̡̥͊͊͑͑̅̀͘͝c̸̹̟̃̽͒͌̈́̓̽̅͂͝͠h̵͉̗̖̩͇͌̑̎̀̆͠͝͝͝ ̷̧̡̢͉̖̜̥̝̣͗̊̈́̔͛̄͋͌͊̑̄̎͜͜a̵̛͙͍̦͔̰̭̍́̋̽͛ͅn̵̨̧̨͖̜̗̣̝͆̏̾̈́̈́̉́̄̇͝ͅd̶̗̮̩̪̫̲̟̣̝͗̍̃͒ ̵̡̡̣̲̗̝̲͓̜̗̂͑̓̂̿̈̓͋͝͝t̴̢̅̈́͊̑̌́͜a̴̰͓̥̬̞̥̹̲̤͍͊̿̀̐͛̈̋̽̕͠ĺ̸̡͖̜̳̙̘̞̜̏͒̐͐̋̐̾̿͘͘͜͠ḱ̴̨̛̯̜̯̹̹͎͉̃̎̐́̃͠ͅ ̵̼̯̃̈́̃̽̌͋ạ̴̘̫͔̭̖̺̘̞͂̓̒̚b̵̛̼͈̻̭̙̓̇̈́̿̐̊͛͠ͅô̷̝͇̯̗̘̤̝̘͒̃̎̃̒̋́̀͝ů̷̻̗̣͓͚͈̭̪͑̃͛̑̽͊͂͜͝ͅṱ̴͙͆̅͑͑̆̄̂̀̒̔ ̸̛̗̮́͗̾Ṁ̵̢̢̫͓̭̥̱͕̩͍͎̜́̆͋o̸͚̳̞͒̓̆͠͝n̶̡̡̙̬͉͕̠̂̌̈́͘̕ͅs̴̡̩̗̮̰̼͛͗̕ͅt̵̰̫̍͆́̇͜͝e̸̻̹͈̥͍̊͒̓r̴̞̄̇̔̐̇.̸̟͔̱͇͙̣̺̣̣͓̱̀̿͝ ̵͔̪͇̜͑̒͛̍̈̀̑͗͘W̷̞͋͌͊̿͗̾̐̌͝ȩ̸̧͇͕͉̰͈̗͉̒̇̈͌́͊̇̚ ̷̢̢̢̳̪̤̠̊̔̆̅̃̈̈́̅̿̚w̷̳̣̝̤̰̣̝̾̏̓á̶̗̬̯̠̪̱̄̇̔̓̓̂̐͐t̴̯̬͒̀̆̿͂͛̇̉̽͌͠͝c̷̰̥͓̞̋̉̀̏̾̇̇̈́͠͠h̶̛̛͖͔̫̪͙͂́̈͌̔̂̔̉͜ͅ ̴̢̛̞̜̳͔̑̽́̉̈̂̂̿͝a̷̡̢̡̛̪̳͎̤̱͓̲̭̰͆͋̊͐̎̔̔͝n̶͙̲̟̼̟̞̺̔̾̏͊͑̂̄͘̕d̸̢̨͈̪̗̰͍̜͉͙̗̾͆ͅ ̵̡̪͉̺͍̣̹̺̬͎̿̿̀̈̇̓̽̚̚ṱ̷̺͖̰͖̲͛̉̄̉̏́a̷͎̪̭̯̦̝̼̰̤̓̌͛́̈́̋͝l̶̢̲͇̅̄̇̄̇̽͠͝͝k̵̨̨̤̓̈́̊̊͋̊̾ ̴̩̩͇̻̗̣̹̜̈́͗͘a̷̛̗̠̲̣͈̮̮̹͐̐̈́͛̎̌̏͂̅͝͝b̴̢͙͖̜̫͗̈͊̽̊̽͐̿̓̈̚͠ò̵̢̫̈͗̎̓͐́͝u̸̧̪̯͑͜͜t̵̹̙̼̗̣̬̜͍̱̝͙̔̃̐̍ ̶̬͚͋M̸̡̺̰͓̪̟̓͑̓̾͊̏̚o̸̬͍̘̳̝̺͓͇̞̟̊͜ņ̸̨̳̦͖̦̲̘̲̘̗͚͑̈̎͊̚͝͝s̶̡̟͓͕̜͙̈́͝ţ̷̡̠͙͈̰̪̪̹̳̱̳́́͊̈́́ë̵̢̛̻̭͓́̅̈͑̓̇̄͒̈́͐͜͝ͅr̴̤͛̇ͅ.̷̛͉͍̗̀̄̎̆̑̃̈́͂̕͘͝ ̵̧̧̖̜̤͖̤̟̑̃̿͋̅͌̚̚ ̵̡̨͈̻͙̯͇͍͙̥̟̪͊̈͆̀͆̓͝J̸̢͓͖̪̤̜̙̝͋̍̈́̊̀̌̍̓͜͝ơ̷̰̠̪͚̫̯̩̝͒̇͛̈́̊̓̍í̴̤͇́̑͊̀̌͗̌͊̕͜ņ̶̧̝̲͙͎̥͔̬́̉̒͐̈́̐̾͆̚ ̵̛͕̈́̒̀̓͜u̷͎̼̬̿̀̍s̷̮̙̙͈̥̫͗͂͋ ̶̨̢̜͖̰̭̯͙͉̐̏̅̊̀̒͑͌͌͘͠ȁ̷̠̩̤̘s̶̡̛̛̹̖̠̳͖̘̦̝͉͑̊͠ ̵̧̲̖̖̞̘̫̟͉̎̉͗̋͊͐̆̇̿̎̉͝ͅw̶͕̉ȩ̸̲̭͕̩͖̥͌ ̶̤̯͉́̒͛̏͠w̷̢̛͓̭̲̻̝̦͎̥̼̲͙̅͋̈́͆̊̕͠a̴̛̤͗͌̈́̓̽͗̚̚͝t̶̛̹͓͔̥͚̳̃̽͑͑̈̈́̍̚c̴͚̮̬̭͍̺͖̱͍̫̯̽̋̎͗̃̌̃͗̀̑̚͠h̷̬̫̤̙̬͚̥͚̠͆̃̓͒ ̷̫̱̄̈́͌̾̈́̐͆̚͝͠ȃ̴̬̜̬͍̌͘n̵̰̜̫̘͇̋̈̈̈́̈́͗̐̂͐͒͘͝d̶̘̺̖͚̱̠̥͔̖̠̱̉̍̀͌̍̕͜ ̸̧̻̫͔̼̞̠͈̥̯̤͉͊̔̇͒́͝t̸̛̙̜̦̝͙͑͛̀͝ả̷̯̪̩͐͛̃̒̚ļ̷̟̲̥̟͒̓͑͐͝k̴̢̨̠͖̜̫̟͔̬͎̗̖̔͊̋́͊̂̋̉̄͒̋̕ ̷̧̗̬͌̈̋a̴̬̐̉̃̈͐̔͊̿͝͠b̸̺̲̼̺̩̼̞͚̹̳̼̆͗͌̔̽̐̏̿͆̕ó̸̧̢̞͎̙̱̪̞̫̺̃̈́́u̵̡̡̱͉̙̯͚̦͕̞͍̣̒́́͊͋̐̇͐̀̑͠ẗ̸̢̹̮́͌́̊̽͌͘ ̸̛͓̼͚͍̹͆̊͛̏́̀̇͝M̶̨̢̧͚̮̣̮̙̞̜͋͗͂̋̎̈́̇̄̀͜ͅơ̸̯̊̽̑̒̇͐̊͝͝n̶̤̗̜͙̳̥̹̠̠̗̝̞̾̄s̴̪͍͓͙͚̗̈́̀̽̅͜t̷̰͔̫̍͊͛̈́̉́̂̐e̶̮̱̼͚̐̈̉͋͊͆͂́̌͘̕ͅr̴̨̡̩̙̥̫̮̓̈́́̍́̂̈̀͝,̴̨̛̥̰͇͙̼̖̫̮̺̙̈́̊̍ ̶̛̪͍̥͍͚͋̅̈́͋̃͆͗͠d̸͚͇̦̈́̋̋͐̉̑̈̃̃i̶̢͌̑͗̂s̶̡̧̲͍̖͇͓͖̹̱̬̙̽̇̍́́͌́̇̈́̇͊̕c̴̢̤͈͓̤̪̣̺̰̯͉͌̽͂͌̒̏̆̋͘͝ͅú̸̡̝̪̗̣̩̜̤̇͐̋̉͑̏͐̚͠͠s̶̛̯̞̯̒̀̈́̿̑̅͆͝ş̶̳̳̦̣̜̩͉̬͍́͒͋͒͑̋̆̏̀ ̷͔͚̦͍̖͈́̀̆́̐̋̈́̒̉̈́͗̔b̷̡̧̲̙̼͈͍̲̰̎̅̉̈́͊̆͆̇̽͘e̵͖̻̭̦͚͔͑̊́̈́̓͑̎c̴̨̦̜̺̫͙͋o̸̖̬͉̭͇̖̫͈̞̩̐͗̀̊̈́̊͂ͅm̵̝̦̞͚̺̝̝͎̦͒̇̽́̍̓̾͋̓̚i̴̢̛̮͒̐̓̑̐͂͝n̶͉͖̙̾̾̓̆͝g̷͕̩̥̼̩̳͈̜͈̩̘̓̄̾̓͝ ̴̛̝̞̍́̃͋͂̾Ć̵̡̧̮̼̮͕̟͎̍͗̉͛̐̈̐͆̀͘͜ͅḩ̸̬͙̣͓̲̭̜̪̯̏͆̍̆̎͒͂͊͊̚͘͝ŕ̴͎͚i̵̭̰̣̹̲̺̭̖̤̼̻͚͐̋̍͝s̶̰̔̄͑̔̕t̸̖̥̗͚̣͌į̷̜̟̦̤͈̝̘̼͕͔̋͗͛́n̵͓͓̹̰͍̫͋̏̾͑̓͆͒̕͜͝ā̴̡̛̛̪̹̞͚̉͋͗͑͛̕ ̷̨̭͉̤̺͎̯̮͓̦̮̾̉̔R̴̨̠̮̤͉̃̈́̾͌̈́̒͊͒̐͑î̴̢̼̟̺̜̫̪̑̿̈̿̆̀̐̐̀͗͘č̴̤͍̂̓̓̅̎̇͆̃̓ć̸̛̫i̷̘͙̟͒̒͒̍́̀́͘ ̵̡̧̞̺͓͕̪̰̲̊̇͐͆̒̒̀̅̉̚͜͝i̸̧̋̋n̴͓̩̼͒̾́̄͋͐̅͊̔͘͘ ̴̛̫͙̲̘͍̬̜͉̺͕̋̑́̾̀̓̏͂͑͌͠M̵̙͇̹̬̼̳̯̣̃̆̉o̵͕̣̰͉̩̅́̓̈́̂̚͘̚͠͝͝ņ̷̭̽̌s̶̢͍̰̗̜̞̤͍̮̠̘͋̂̃͐͊̒̾̉ṭ̸̜͚͉̞̺̄͒̋e̶̛͙̗̺͑͑̌̿̓̈́̀̀̍̽͝ͅr̵̨̢̡͙̥̪͓͓̮̀̏̐̆̒,̴̦̪͎͈̹̼̙̔̄̾̂́͛͂̆͂̽̆͆ ̸͍̓͌͝r̵̛̟̲̠͉̓̓̎̌̿͗̂i̴̝̙̤̾͊̈́̇̽͛̅̎̄̎͘p̶̨̢̖̰̰̹͙̥̻̰̱̆͆͑̋͘̚ ̸̢̼̙͖̺̗͓̮̗̼͌́̀͒͌̈́̌̈́̕͝ǫ̶̹͚͓̻̿͒̕f̸̥̺̰̱͖̋͛̈́͂͊̀̔̋̃͘͝͝ͅf̸̢͓̖̰͚̺̼͔̦̣̤̆͊͜ ̴̣͔̯̫̪̥̳̤̥̠͊́͌̈̈͂̐͌̌͋̄̑t̵͚̰̠̄̆͂̆̅h̸̢̧̯̯͈̠̣̻̉̋̚ȩ̵̛̟̩̀̀͑̽̚͘͜͠͠ ̶̡̬͚͎̥̜͓̘͊̋̚c̵͙͈̰̣̅͑̊̽̂̓̅̾͠á̸͕̈́̀̑s̷͓̲̜̓̐́̾̓͂̓̅̀͐̀̚t̴̢̫̮̲̹̻͉̹͙̣̓͝,̷̬̾̄̌͒̈́͑̇̎̋̃͑̇͜ ̸̧̨̻̣̬̱̳͕̲̇̑t̵̨̥͖̐͒̇̎̄̐̽̆̂ḛ̶̫̰̊͝͝á̷̡̫̌̈́̈́̾̒̑́̑͋̏ŗ̵̡̧͓̝̟̬̳̺̗̹͎̀̊̃͑ ̸̤͙̘̼͉͉̰̖̉͗́͑̇̈́̎̑́̓t̶̡̡̡̖̲̘̜̂̑̑̏͒̌̓͌͗̀̈̑h̷̼̬̹̹̙̮̱͔͖̦̠̦͑́̑̋͆̿̿̅̀̒͊͘ą̵̜̦̱̜͖̿t̶̻̗͚̠̦̦͈̣̖͉̭̙̆̑̈́̾̽͝͝ ̸̩̺͎͈̣̰͗̾̔́͗̚ő̵̙̮͓̳͖̘̝̀̄͗̀͘p̸̬̬̫̥͕͇̗̙͂̈́̇ͅͅe̷͈̦̓̓͛n̸̡͍͙̪̿̈́͝ ̵̡͉̼̘̭̬̈́į̷̡̮̝̖̟̭̯͚͉͓̊̌̽͂̌̿̎͋̚͜͝ǹ̴͇ ̸̖̺̜͙̪̜̮̬͍̈́̄̾̒͂̓͂M̶̧͖̠͉̣̀̊̇́̽̅͊̄̏̚o̸̮̊̆n̵̠̳̞͗̐́̋̄͂s̴̭͓̈́̀̇͐̑̎͒̕t̶̝͂͋͂̿̊͘͠͝͠͝͝ê̴̱͕̽́̃ŗ̴̩̬̗̱̣̪̪́̀̑̅̃.̷̤̠̞͕̗͉͙̗͋͌̏̉͘ ̶̢͓̭̪͔̪̝̳͊͊̇́͑́̆͊̄͜Ţ̶̧̡̛̱̼͍̞̮́̒̇̂̀̐͊͠a̸̛̛̞͇̹͖͑̓̐̚̚̕ĺ̶̠̖̰̃̎̚ḳ̴͖̙̰̰͗̀̍̍͑̈́͐͑͐̆̀̕ͅ ̷̢̦̠̭͉̫̘̦͍̙̰̠͗̽́̓͂̈́̕͘ṳ̸̡̟̂́̍͑̊͘̕s̵͓̍̂́ ̷̛̝͊̍̾̍̋́̀̑ą̵̡̻̯̰̦̘̋̊͗͗͌͐͑͝s̷̨̧̡̢̩̯͙̖͉̩̃̈̆̈́̈̒̚͜͠ ̵̨͇̙̰̜̻͇̆ẘ̶̪̠̖̹̰̩͕̌̓̐̏̑̉̄̕ȅ̶̡͚͉͕̰̙͔̘̪̜̲̬͒̒̂̀͌͘ ̸̲͓̺̈j̴͙͎͖̪͖̦͆͆͜o̷̧̙͇̭̔̄͗̈́̍̓̆̾͐̒̚͝į̶͈͓̀n̷̢̡̨̧̺̪͓̰̅̆̒̅̑͘ͅ ̵̨̗̥̦͙͑͋̿̍̈́͂̈͋͗̈́̽͠Ṃ̶̤̞͙̪̰̄̆̚ỏ̷̫͕̙̈́͑͒̄̚͘͜͝n̵̤̯͈̠̔̐̉̀͝ṣ̷̌ṭ̸̛̛̤̼̠̩̙̳̾̌̾́̌̓̂̉̀̓é̶͍̪̘͇̤̭̞̺̣̇̈́́̈͂͠ͅr̷̨̫̗͍̄̀̽̽͊̀̆̄̈́̑͘͝.̷̧̢̥͔̳̖͓͍͖̣̰͓̅̀̀̋̃̄̋͋ ̸̢̨̨̛͉̬̠̲̳͚͎̳́͌̍͛̕͠T̸̨̖̗̜͔̼̈́̅͝ͅh̴͓̭͍͕̺͓͇̼̗̗̪́̂ͅę̸̨̧͚͈̺̠̹̻̺͎̟̋̔̑͌̎̾̈́̽̋̕ņ̷̧̢̨̮͕̯̳̭̠̊̃̿̕,̵̤͔͕̣̝͚̹̦̯̬͍̉̃̆̒̐͜͠ ̸̛̘͚̯̐̀́̉ẃ̴̳̇͌̈̐̄̌̈́ą̷̱͔̘̝̬͇̆t̴͙͖̀̉͐͐̾͗̓͌̕c̸̛̻̻̰̅̒̇̿͛̿̈́͂̒̊͝ḥ̶̺͓͐̐̈͆́̒͂̃͋̆̕͜͝ ̷̨̰̜̝͔̹̝̹͛̀͐̄̄̚a̵̩̰̅̈́͆͌̈́̄͜͠ş̴̻̥̗̱͖͕̖̍͛͊͛͠ ̶̡̝͇̯̟̹̏̇͝w̴̧̢̛̛͕͎̰̹͛̂͂͒̋̓̅̊͂̚ẽ̷̤̤̖̘̖̮̫̤ ̵͕͚̫̰̥̱̏w̴̗̭̝̞͕͒̀̒̋̄̒a̴̡͚͛̽̚t̶̨̥̘͕͛̈͊͐̊̑̍͋̕͝c̴̨̛̭̼̱̻͗̿̍̾̔͘͝͝ḩ̶͓̘̟̞̠̗̰͚̦̌̊͐̒̒ ̵̧̹̖̮̜̠̻̠̭̆̒̄͗͋́͂́͂̇͜ū̷̡͉̜̦̃͌̑͆̓͆s̵̢̘͕͕̽̎̌͆̚̚͝ ̷̟̣̯̪͉͉̀̀́̍̂̚ạ̶̞͒b̴̡̢̯̱͙̭̯́̈̆̄̅̑̍̚͝o̴̰͔͓̘̦̾ự̴̧͇̯̞̱̱̘̩̮̟̅̆̃̊̆̚ͅẗ̶̢̤͕̯̯̟̰̖͉̘́͌̆͑̀͗̏̚͠͝ͅ ̷͓̙͉̼̱͍̹͚̹̖̯̞̈́̌̓̆̈́͐͌̄͝M̶̮͙̤͛̂̈̕͠ő̴̧̯̪̪͓̪̰̬͓̘̅̃͗͐̈́̋̃n̶̛͓̥̮͗̌̎͆͋̑̉ș̵̝͖̰̯̲͈͙̼̞̫̽̀͒̊͆̾͌̆̓́̈́͗t̵̯̞͉̑ë̸͚͇͔̙́̈͐̑͒̈͊͌̄̓́͘r̵̡̧̩͖̼̟̘͚̃̊̒̀̀͌͜:̷̝̲͙̱̳͆́̋̒̿̄͜ ̵͙͓̺̗̹̮͉̍̈́̓́͐͝ͅͅͅB̶̧̧̹̜̱̳̬̪͍̱̟̭̆̋̏̌͋͊͗͂̐͌̿͝ư̴̡̈͒̑̋̆̕͝͝͝c̵̢̧̭̬͍͍̪̱̼̒̀̑̋̄̏̒k̸͉̣̪̩͖̝͙̰̚ę̴̹̤̅͋͑̄́̇͝ṭ̸̢̮̗̪̯̤̺̄̾͊̉̀̒̎́̓̕͝.̸̬̳͓̪̩͖̪̖̮̝̖̄̏̿͑̐̾ͅ
̸̛̛̱̖͚̦̥̦͇̗̜̰̦̂́̀̌̈́̉̽̕
̶̺͚̠̳̪̓̔͑̋̄̈́̓̓Ś̶̡̠̦͖̙͔̝̩͔̹t̴̝̣̺̲̠̟̟̔a̸͓̹̠̬̮̳͍̫̬̾̄t̴̛͕̩͎̥̊͌͊͑̕̕̚̚͘ ̶̨̱͕͓̳̱͋͂͗͒͂̕ͅB̴͈̮͎͉̠̗̯̄̓̽̔͒̃̌̀̍̚͝ľ̷̗̳̺̀o̶̡̩̲̝̹̥͒͝c̷̨̝͉̺̈́k̵̮̗̠̼͔̪̝͈͕̦͑̋́̓̌̕͝s̴̤̟͕̼̀̀̓̊̈́̆̋̉̓́͜͝
̷̵̧̢͓͎̹̞̬̝̦͖̼̊͂̈̊̎
̷̛̤͍̟̻̱̫̮̱̓͊̉͋͋͘͝S̸̢̮̤͚̝̿̏̂̿͌̈́͆̚̚ẗ̴̬̤͖͉̠́̈́́͐̇̽̕͠ḁ̶̛̱̥̱̼̞̹̃͑̌͗͗̊̐̏̃̕̚ͅͅț̵̨̢̣̭̬̃̄̀̒͠ ̸̹̞̮͉̄̑B̵̨̬̥̤͇̹̙̩̟̼̙̋̌̉͊͠͠l̷̛̛̛̯̦̲̜̭̳̯̻͍͆͛͛̂̎͋͜ǫ̵̧̻̣́̑̊̽̓͘͝ç̴̙͔͚͆̎̀͆̍͋̕͝k̶̢͕̙̙̹̭̼͖̥̈́̅͆̓̕ş̸̧̧̜̦̬̏̊̓͗͊͌̓ ̴̧̗̫̩̘̞̪͉͖͋̐͊o̷̡͔͍̦͖̻͐͆̾̔n̶̬̮̮̦͍͕̐͆̅̈́̑̀́͘͠ ̵̨̧͌̽͛̊ͅḒ̷͔̱̙͕̈́&̴̛̞̻̪̼̦̪̖̗̠̹͓͂̎͂̅͊̓͜D̶̩͇̮͍̲͠ ̶̦̙̳͎̮̟̪͉̼̆̀̉̄̎̆̈́͜B̶̫͈̤͙̫̟̤̞̞̈́̑̇͑̄͊̈̀ę̶͉̲̟͒̓̐̐̐͆͘͘͝ͅy̵̨̛͓͛̓̀͆̀̑̍̀̇̚͝o̷͔͓̹͕̦̼͕̘̬͌̆̏̆͆͛͜n̵̛͉̺̔̈́͊̑ḋ̶̨̨͍̗̞͍͓͔͈͓̥̿
̸̵̛̞̱̤̰͚̪̫̙͚̥͙̘͑̔̋̂̾́̃͌̄̌ͅ
̵̯̝̪̦̔̃͆̇̋͋̂̃̆̕͜P̴̦̉å̴̧͍̹̫̺͍͓͚̗̈̍̇͒̇̆̈̑͗͊͜ͅţ̸̢̳̱̩̗̑̓̏̀̓̈̓̌͘͝r̶̺͖͔̿̿̍̈́̃̓̀̈́e̴̢̤̿̓͗̍͂ǫ̸̱̌̐͝n̷̡͎̥͚͙̖̟̗̼̖̍́̈́͆́́̓̃͠
̶̶̧̧͙̬̗̻͔̙̲͈̤̣͇̓̓̌̑͒̈́̏
̷̢̛̼͚͎̬͇͚͙͑̈́̃͋̈́̅̀͊̄͛̂Ê̴͎̟̜̰̻̈́͒̍͗́͐̏͝m̷̨͖̤̰̲̟͈̝͖̩͎̓̿̉͊̋͑a̵̭̲̟̖̯͎̲͕̻̲̖͂̽͑i̶̧̛̼͇̝̩̱̥̹͓͊̅͂̚͝ľ̴̡̞̬͇
̷̵̳̖̘͈̝̱͚̿̈́̎̏͒̿̄͗̈́̒̈̓͋͘͝͝
̷̛͉̮̪̭͇̰͚̈́͗͆̐́͌̇͘̚T̷̛̤̈͒̄ẁ̴̢̛̟̣̣͎͍̮̰̲͙̇̽̈́͑̀͛̚̚͝i̸̡̾̽͂͐͌͊̑͒ṫ̷̳̤͇̔̐́̽̀̕͝t̵̳͔̤̤̹̻̤̗̂̔̒͑̌̽̾̂́̋̿ͅë̵͎́̓̇͊̌͗́͆͘͘͠ṟ̴̡̛̜̪̹͚̗̐͌̎̍̃̾͝͝
̶̴̖̺̲͇̟͇̫͇͔͖͕͚̯̗̜́̈͂̓̏͊͒̀͒͐͛̂͋̚͜ͅ
̵̧̡̺͇͕̦̩͉̮̦̈̊̈́̆̄M̷̢͈͉̝̬̋̾̋̑͊̑̈͜͝͝͠a̵̮̱̝͖͎͑̐̐̊̕͘̚t̵̰͝t̵̡̨̢̢͎͕̗͙̰̟̬̋͑͋̂̀̑̃̋̀͝'̵̢̺͍̺͇̝͈̟̓̕s̶̛̫̯̈͒́̂̆̒̆ ̵̻͇̩̦̜͔̮̺̅͗̽̽͋̉͆̈́̍̉̀͝T̸̨̧̺̜̘̫̫̞̎̓̔̔̄͑͋̕w̸̨͈̟̆̾̓̈́̃̌̂̕i̵̘̪̲̩̠̤̤͒̇̽͐̿ṯ̶̨̡̬̘̍̀̽͊́̂̆͘͝t̷̡͓͎̥͉̜̝͎̹̱͗̎̈́͝è̶̢̢̛̮͗́̈̓̓͋̈́̚r̶͕͕͓̔̊͛͌͊̿́͌͊̽͘͜
̴̴̡̢̗̣̙̰̟͇̱͔͐̄̌̄̋͋̈́̂̀̆͝ͅͅ
̵̢̢̢̛̣̹͉͙͈͉̅̚̚C̵̹͔͖̍͊̌͗ͅh̷͔͙̤̯̑̈͌̉̓̍̍̋́̂̃͝r̶̼̈́̂̂͝i̶̼̝͖͊̀͑̓̈́̎̏͐̀̊͊̚s̵̛̩̹̝͔̘̃̒̓̿̾̇͠͝'̶̜͊́͛̆͛̋͐̔̌̎͠ ̷̪̻̬̘͑̌̋̎͘̕͜͠Ṯ̵̗͔̖̞̪̰̀̑͘ẅ̷̛̥̠͇́́͋̀̃̈́̀̓̂̕̕i̷̞͔̜͙̪̅ͅt̸͙͉̱̯̼̮̤̖̘̏̋̔̕ͅt̵̡̧͙͓͍͇̘̳͆̒̚e̶̼̺͚̹̺͑̈́̿̉̒̄͛̕ͅŗ̴̨̤̮͙͓̠̹͓̮̐̌͜͠
̸̨̧͍̥͕̣̲̗̣̦̲͗
̷̡͓̮̣͖̖̤͙͍̣͍̎̆̉̔͘ͅŢ̴̛͉͇̺̱͕͙̥͂̐́̊̽͊̓̒̋̚̕ȟ̸̞̥̙̟̋ẻ̸̩̺̝̝̠̳̟̦͇̅͆͂̓͐̑͂̚͜ͅm̸̠̥̲̻͖͈̳̜͇̤̲̉é̴͉͚̳̜̝͖̻͍̲ ̵̡̣͔̑͒̒͗͝m̸̰̝̦̬̟̅̀͘u̸̼͇͊͑̎̅̄̓̓͆̀͊̂͝s̷̢̡̗͉͈̘̙̭̦̪̫̐͒̒̔̑̒̅̄͆̊̕i̴̦̻͔̯͂̐̄̂̔̏̈́̈̚c̸̥̣̟̘̦͚̋̌̀̒̍͜:̵̧̡͇̊͗̕͠ ̶̧̻̦̄"̴̛̤̖̞̞̤̰̳͍̪̱̒̽͛͑̚̕͝M̴̺͎̖̝̭͑̏͛̋̊̍ǫ̶̨̛̜̮̻̩͉̮̗͓͕̱n̶̡̼̰̥̝̩̾̅͐̉͘̕͝s̴̲̆̈́̌̉̈́́͊͘t̶̡̨͍̳̗̤̫̞̼̭͖͖̔̈́̂̊̑ȇ̶̡̹̰͖̥͇̿͂́r̸̲̜̰̃̈́͋̍̋̚s̸̜̩̜̦͚͚̄͜"̷̱̩͉̟͎̗̑̒̎̊͘͝ ̷̱̻̻͚͖͛͌̈̉̃̆̀͛̎̈b̶̜͈̆y̸̡̨͈̬͚̱̫̩̲̗͔̳̒̂̅͛̕ ̵̩̻̻̠̮̹̝̞̍͐̾̇̈̎͐̕͜͝͝G̶̟̖̪̟̮̝̜̺̰͚͌ͅo̶͕̙̖̍̑̊̃̀͆̎t̷̟̳͈̼̹̂̂̈́̏̊̕͠ḩ̵͎̹̭̼͉̲͙̋m̶̨̛̫̝̩̹͂̿̔͐̆̈́͝ḭ̸͙̟̩̠̪̲͉̹̱̌͋̊̆͛̓̀͑́͛̚̚͜ņ̶̛̺̣̻̫͇̭̱̂̔̑͌̐̉̆̉͝͝͝ḭ̵̭̱̗̿̉͋̃̚s̴̖̬̣̻͓͙̿͐̋̍̀̈́̏̕t̴̜͎͔̊͐͜͠ę̴̨̨͓̦̱̪̗̼̝̻̉̍̀̈́̀͑͐̌̉̉̒͘ͅŗ̵̢̘̘͍̻͈̰́̂̒̌̀͛̂̌͘͜͝
̶̵̡̨̡̛̖̫̦̫͙͈̜͚̩̖̞̬̪̾̏̉͊̇͊̈́̌̅̅͑͑
̴̠̜̲͚͉̳͇̻͇̿̾͋̈́̋͛͂͗̆̃ͅI̴̳̥̙̜̽͆͌͛ṋ̶̡͚̀̾̀̕͘t̶̡͎̺̟̰̞̥̱̤̝̠̓̋̋̈́͝e̸̡̙͇̣̗̫̖̻͈̬̓͑͝r̸͖̗̫̜̭͎̯̱̱͌̎̈̾̾̆̽͘̕͜ḻ̴͙̤̭̄̑̍́̈́́͝u̸̧͕̩͍̗͇͉̟̭̞͇̠͛̚d̴̟̀̉͗̅̾̔͠ę̵̧̯̟̊ ̶̛̱̥̼̀̋͐͠m̴̳͍̥͙̀̒͛̅̓ų̷̟̺̠̮͇̺͉͈̮̽̉͑͂̏́͜s̶̳̒̏͗i̶͖͌̉͐̆͐̈́͐̇̒̚c̷̮̮̼̗͇̼̲̩͖͍̉̄̀̓͜:̴̢̛̗͇̪͎͇̤̖͈̟̀̀̍͒͐̑̃͗̿̐ ̴̼̲̘̳̞̗̖͔̬̮̯͊̂͐͆̀̆͊́̅͝"̸̨̢̗̦̳͕̥̝͍̝̟̋̎͑͝M̷̛͓̖̙̎̎͆ĩ̵̙́͆̽͗̋̐͗͂̐̈́͘s̴̫̦̘̱͇̫̬̼̿̉̎̇̾̑̇ẗ̵͉̼̯͇̘̘̭̲́̄̃͛̋̀̔͌͆͜͠͝ͅe̴̡̬͓͔͖̻̳͖̽̇̀̈́̐͘͜r̷̛̩̺̺̮̮̳̬̜̓͛̈̐͋̊̇͘̚͜ ̷̫̲̃͂̀̑̕B̶̢̪͍̬͓͈̗̻̞̗̥̥̔̔͆̾u̵̼̫̎͝͠ͅc̷̣͖͔̥̮̯̺̬̩͛́͊̽̈́́̿̏͊̇ͅͅk̵̨̨̳̭͚̩̫̝̦͓̎̌̈́ȇ̵͇t̵̨͖̪̠͓̼̊̌̎̾̑ ̸̛̥̦̋̍͋̽̉́̓̑̾͊̚M̸̠̣̬͈̈́̀̄̌̚͝ị̴̢̧̠̜̘͈̘̪̤̳̭͆́́̂͗̎̅̋̽s̵̼̈́̆t̸̪̙̀̑͆̀e̷̖͍͓͆̅̔̈́̅̓̕͜r̶̢̠̻̥̯̫̊͜͜͝͠͠ ̵̨̳̟̜̪͕̦̘͓͈̦̟͐̐͋͆Ḃ̷̛̛̯̺̈́̂̓̆̂̂̐̂̋ͅu̵̫͒̾͊̈́̈͛͗̄̕͠c̸̡̞̜͗͂͂̅́̂̓̎̐ͅk̴̪̫̼̤̝͔̤̃ͅͅe̴̠̦͖̤͓͔̬͙̝̹̒̓̂̿̉̔̀͗͜t̷͖̃͛̕ ̶̢͚̥͎͎̭͈̭̔̊̅̈́̈̕͝͝M̵̳̫̖͚̩̬̭̲̞͑͋̎̇̿̇̃̓͒̈́̐͘ͅì̸̡̨̳̝͚̪̭̒̅̊̐͋̔͘͘̕͜͠͝ͅͅs̶̨̧̛̛̺͍͔͖͚͇̰͎͙͗͒̍̆̎̊̓̽̀̕t̷̺̬̦̜̯̓̓͝e̶̛̝͔̠̺̬̒̓̌̍̉̚͝͝r̷͕͎̯͐͋̓́̀͘ ̴̢̫̭̯̞̩̓̌̾́̑́̃͋̽̓͝B̶͚̦͓̩̯̲̘͙̅̀̾͆͜ų̶͓͕͎̻̏̀̂̀̓̐̌̀̏͘ͅͅc̷̪̯͓͆͆͑͋̀̍̏͑k̴̢̧̺̩͙̥͌̓̆̌̃̒̑͐̌͘ë̸͔̗̻͕̻́́̍̽́͜ͅt̷̖̠̥̖̙̮͖́͗̂́̓̂͑͗͌͝ͅ
Friday Mar 18, 2022
Friday Mar 18, 2022
We watch and talk about the kick-start to John Boyega and Jodie Whittaker's career: Attack the Block. Join us as we parse through a thick load of slang, touch up on some important social topics that we're in no way qualified to talk about, and perhaps even discover the profound effect marijuana can have on a simple0minded man. Then, join us as we create a creature made of vantablack and screams, the Otherworldly Shrieker.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "They Don't Really Care About Us (Michael Jackson Cover)" by Beast in Black
Thursday Mar 17, 2022
Thursday Mar 17, 2022
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
We watch and talk about the movie synonymous with St. Patty's Day horror: Leprechaun. Join us as we talk about the casting and character choices, puzzle through Leprechaun lore, and honestly, probably give Thankskilling more credit than it deserves. Then, join us as we create the most annoying monster we could think of: the Greelin.
Edit: Had to tweak the audio files I pulled as they came off a bit too loud. My bad!
Theme music: "Leprechaun Main Title" by Kevin Kiner
Interlude music: "I'll Be There for You" by The Rembrandts
End theme: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Friday Mar 04, 2022
Friday Mar 04, 2022
We watch and talk about the 90's classic, Tremors. Join us as we laugh at Kevin Bacon and all his Kevin Bacon-ness, discuss the population of the smallest town in the Nevada desert, and fight through being sick for like, three weeks. Then, stick around to get acquainted with our own giant underground monster: the Screamy Worm.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Graboid Shuffle" by Twin Beaks
Friday Feb 18, 2022
Friday Feb 18, 2022
We watch and talk about the obscure, direct-to-video horror, Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor. Join us as we get a healthy dose of science, gripe about Brian, and sludge through some goopy creature designs. Then, stick around to get a glimpse of our take on a uniquely designed monster, the Unearthly Shambler.
This was a slightly longer episode than intended. Oops!
Also, I'm aware that I only recently started including the movie soundtracks as background music for these episodes, but I couldn't find the score for this flick anywhere to save my life.
Edit - The audio screwed up during the interlude, but I have since fixed it.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Monster Mutant Boogie" by Bloodsucking Zombies from outer Space
Monday Feb 14, 2022
Monday Feb 14, 2022
Happy Valentine's Day!
We watch and talk about one of the greatest love stories ever told, Guillermo Del Toro's The Shape of Water. Join us as we continue to fanboy over Del Toro, discover another really sweet story from behind the scenes of another fish-man movie, and brush against some hard-hitting social injustices that we are in no way qualified to handle. Then stick around to hear our take on cinema's most romantic creature: the Icosaphibian.
Theme music: "The Shape of Water" by Alexandre Desplat
Interlude music: "Lovers of Loving Love" by the Auquabats
End theme: "Monsters" by Gothminister