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Episodes
We watch, talk about, and summarize creature features. Then we make a custom stat block for the title monster in D&D 5e.
Episodes
Friday Feb 04, 2022
Friday Feb 04, 2022
We watch and talk about Guillermo Del Toro's first American fail, Mimic. Join us as we lament the existence of the Weinstein brothers, throw shade at pandemic stans, and lose ourselves in the weeds of a fictitious pandemic. Then, stick around to learn what walks like a man but is actually just a roach man, the Termanch.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Cockroach King" by Haken
Friday Jan 21, 2022
Friday Jan 21, 2022
We watch and talk about a sci-fi horror classic, The Fly. Join us as we analyze what is the Jeff Goldblum, discuss Veronica's questionable kinks, and fall in with society's fear of the flesh. Then, stick around to hear our take on the man-turned fly: the Flymanoid.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Help Me" by Or3o
Friday Jan 07, 2022
Friday Jan 07, 2022
We watch and talk about one of the many Big Foot horror movies, Big Legend. Join us as we question survivalist techniques, groan at the very concept of Eli, and wonder what the future of cryptids holds . Then, stick around to hear our attempt to make yet another bigfoot monster interesting with the Big man.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Bigfoot in My Backyard" by Ate Bit
Saturday Dec 25, 2021
Saturday Dec 25, 2021
Merry Christmas!
We watch and talk about the objectively best Christmas movie made: Gremlins. Join us as share our love of this classic, have the same discussion every fan of this movie has, and giggle at "Milk Duds". Then stick around to hear our take on the marquee monsters: the Mischief Goblin.
Theme music: Gremlins Theme
Interlude music: "Gremlins Everywhere" by Creature Feature
End theme: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Friday Dec 24, 2021
Friday Dec 24, 2021
We watch and talk about the John Carpenter-directed Stephen King story, Christine. Join us as we show how little we actually know about anything, discuss the wide range in age high schoolers can be, and question exactly what Alternate Universe Jonah Hill is actually doing with his life. Then, stick around to hear our take on Creature Crunch's first car: the Wicked Wagon.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Cars" by Gary Numan
Friday Dec 10, 2021
Friday Dec 10, 2021
We watch and talk about the 2020 straight-to-streaming apocalyptic monster movie: Love and Monsters. Join us as Matt gets a weird hang-up about payouts on early concepts, we rave about the creature designs, and just generally have an OK time with this pretty decent film. Then, stick around to hear our take on a variation one one of the many monsters in this movie: the Unstoppable Crab.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Love You Madly" by Cake
Thursday Dec 09, 2021
Thursday Dec 09, 2021
The original publish of this episode somehow vanished from the host, so we had to re-upload it.
We watch and talk about the Jurassic Park mockbuster, Carnosaur. Join us as we follow a murderous dinosaur chicken, question what any of these companies and orginizations actually do, and wonder why so many scenes of Clint Howard eating were necessary. Then, stick around to hear our take on a maybe deinonychus: the Biosaur.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Jurassic Park Theme Song (Melodica Cover)" by P. Lo
Friday Nov 26, 2021
Friday Nov 26, 2021
We watch and talk about the 1997 thriller: Anaconda. Join us as we gush over this star-studded cast, delight at Jon Voight DEVOURING the scenery, and grapple with the concept of the movie taking place in its own universe where snakes are serial killers. Then, stick around to hear our take on a variation of the giant constrictor snake: the Screamaconda.
PSA: We talk a lot about how much we like Jon Voight in this flick, but make no mistake, it's his character that we love. We don't condone or, frankly, even respect the man himself.
Theme music: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Interlude music: "Attacked by Snakes" by The Aquabats
Thursday Nov 25, 2021
Thursday Nov 25, 2021
Happy Thanksgiving!
We watch and talk about the small-budget cult hit, ThanksKilling. Join us as we complain about nearly every aspect of this film, explain why this isn't really a movie for us, and talk about the comedic masterpiece it could have been. OK, maybe that's going a bit too far. Then stick around to hear our take on the titular Turkie and his various incarnations plus a few extra bonuses: the Hell Turkey.
Side note: when we recorded the crunch, there was an issue with Chris' mic and we didn't catch it until it was too late, so that's why he sounds like he's in the next room over.
Theme music: ThanksKilling Main Theme
Interlude music: Chicken Boo Theme
End theme: "Monsters" by Gothminister
Sunday Oct 31, 2021
Sunday Oct 31, 2021
Happy Halloween!
We watch and talk about the 5th movie in the Ernest franchise, Ernest Scared Stupid. Join us as we reminisce about this classic from our childhood, delight at Jim Varney's honestly enjoyable performance, and cringe at some racist caricatures. Then, stick around to hear our take on the gooey and large-headed monster of the film: the Snot Goblin.
Theme music: Ernest Scared Stupid Intro
Interlude music: "Haunted by the Ghost of Ernest P. Worrell" by the Nick Lutsko
End theme: "Monsters" by Gothminister